the comments left on the last post are hilarious. some of you seriously don't get it. it warms my heart to know i can still enrage some of you without even doing anything. keep it up guys. it goes a long way.

hah, later fags.

It's been over a year since I've left the NGBBS. Many thought my departure was an April Fools joke. I can tell you it wasn't, and neither is this: I've been living a lie on the BBS. I'm not really like my internet persona, I was just a troll. And a damn good one.

You see, it was all a joke to me. And I've fooled many for a long, long time. There were others that could see through me, but only a small handful. Why was I the way I was? It's easy. The internet means a lot to some people. It was so easy to ruin their day in such a small little way. Banning people for no reason and making up excuses, deleting their posts, etc.

So, why did I quit? Well, it all caught up to me. Trolling the BBS can take a lot of time. Time that could have been spent doing other things. I lost my girlfriend for not spending enough time with her. I quit an easy job because it was interfering with my time on the BBS. Those two factors lead to me drinking heavily and fall into a deep depression... which just made me worse as a mod. I was banning people because I didn't like their name, because they couldn't spell right, because I thought they had shitty tastes in music, movies, etc. It was time for me to let it go. I stopped drinking as much, got a new job, met a new girl. I'm happy now, but I still miss the BBS.

That being said, I'm going to be coming back. I won't be a mod, and I won't be a troll. I'll just be me. It'll be weird, but I'm going to try to not slip into my old ways. Now, all you users that are reading this thinking "I knew it all along!" all I have to say is, the joke is on you.

and into the black.

and you know what i did to them.

this is horrible.

birthdays are so much fun.

cry about it here.

you finally figured it out. this news post was indeed all a ploy to give me more attention. and it only took someone about 2 and a half weeks to figure it out.

you'd think me posting an obvious picture would have led you to that conclusion much, much sooner. i guess me blatantly stating my plan in a comment was just the clue you needed to crack the case.

you have completely given into my needs, which is funny when you think about it. you call me an attention whore, then post more things about me, giving me more attention. then, when i say this to you guys directly, you give me even more attention. watch, there will probably be another addition to my ED page with a link to this news post which, you guessed it, will just shower me with more attention.

thanks guys. i will live on in infamy.

[EDIT] 12/12

MORE inaccuracies.

Recently Bigbadron discovered his ED article

if by recently, you mean last year.

were he proceeded to combat the lulz by pointing out every grammar and spelling mistake on this page

it's "where." you'd think you would pay more attention to that, considering you're talking about misspellings.

posted a picture of a starving baby to end off his rant. Now under normal circumstances this would likely result in an account deletion

people have posted goatse and haven't had their accounts deleted. i guess i shouldn't talk though, because i haven't had an account deleted. ExcessivePlasma, how many accounts did you lose in the last deletion spree? LOL.

but since creating an alt on NG is easier than masturbation it really doesn't matter anyways.

and you call me an attention whore. you went off about yourself on my page. it's all about you, isn't it EP?

but i digress, thanks for making my page even bigger than it was before. it's good to know that people take time out of their busy schedules to talk me, giving me more, and more attention.

[EDIT] 12/20

putting "naked" in front of other words makes it funny apparently.

do you people even try anymore?

bigbadron is known the be a professional dicksucker at Newgrounds, he's only able to troll people, because doing the slightest exercise can make this fat bitch sweat like a starved African child that did sixty laps around a soccer-field.

i could shit a better insult.

[EDIT] 11/25

what's great is that the edits make it even less funny.

Bigbadron has been known to bann users on the fourm for just disagreeing with him or calling him a bald faggot or going crazy with the ban stick while trying to jerk off his tiny e-penis. Due to this horrible habit BigBadRon has developed a mental state of a Napolean Complex claimsing soveirignty among lesser users.

not to mention the terrible grammar. and the horribly unfunny edits to the poetry not written by me.

i mean, i know you guys are under 15, but still, put some effort and heart into it.

[EDIT] 12/02

i like how i bolded all the words that were misspelled, yet, only the small words were corrected. oh wait, "forum" is still wrong.

guys, i handed you your corrections on a silver platter, and you still fuck it up.

look at me. i'm trendy now.

[EDIT] the title of this piece is "Visions of Watermelon Dancing in His Head."